Tuesday, April 21, 2009

song for a tuesday in april in 2009...



My favourite track on the album. Empire of the Fleetwood Mac more like!

Bollywood had an off day...



I think they just dragged this dude in off the street..

So as far as i can make out the clip starts with awfuldancingman trying to dry a letter hes tip-exxed. This he then celebrates with a roll around the garden , as you do. And then he starts "dancing" again...

He picks up a chick , sort of drags her around a bit and then she disappears ( women huh? )

About 1:07 awfuldancingman starts backing away from us, and into a rose bush. I think hes a bit drunk. Shit hes started dancing again.

1:56 chick re-appears! His awful dancing has somehow summoned her..

1:58 shirt change. ( wait is this the same guy? im confused)

2:03 Chick digs the shirt.....someawful dancing follows. Both parties guilty here..

2:11 RAPE ATTEMPT!

2:13 I think we got a puker. Either hes disgusted at his actions or this is a side effect of some AWFUL dance moves..

2:20 she forgives him! And doesnt seem to mind his pukey breath. Shes got no self respect this lady..

2:24 Some of the most half-assed dancing ive witnessed . Hes not even trying!...Actually i dont think he's well.

3:03 woah , he dances and walks the steps backwards. Walks up 2 steps backwards..Just about.

Your glad you stayed to the end cos he now breaks out all the moves...3:24 This brings on the end of the world. Goddamnit awfuldancing man!




End

Monday, April 20, 2009

Bill Moyers tells it like it is...

"..when historians come to tell the story of America in our time, I'll wager they will not be able to ignore this remarkable and compelling portrayal of life in our cities.."


Yesterday i lay out in the sun and listened to the audio version of Bill Moyers interview with David Simon. I would urge everyone , whether familiar with The Wire or not , to go check it out..http://www.pbs.org/moyers/journal/04172009/watch.html.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Tattoo by Jack Handey

from the new yorker

Recently, I got a sex change on a whim. I was out drinking with some friends, got really drunk, and went in for the surgery. The doctors suggested I wait until I was sober, but I said no, give me the sex change.

Well, to make a long story short (so to speak), I woke up with breasts, a vagina, and a splitting headache. Also, I had a tattoo. I don’t remember where I got it, but there it was.

I was a woman for several weeks. The people at work were nice about it, but, to tell you the truth, I didn’t really have time to enjoy being a woman—I was swamped with projects. Finally, I decided to go back to being a man. For one thing, I hadn’t thought about how you need to change your whole wardrobe.

When I went in for the second surgery, I asked the doctor if he could also remove the tattoo while he was at it. He said, “But since you’re going to be a man again, wouldn’t you like to keep the tattoo?” I said no, man or woman, I didn’t want the tattoo.

I woke up from the operation, and I was a man again. But get this: I still had the tattoo! I thought, Am I crazy? I confronted the surgeon, and he said he thought we had left the tattoo part undecided. Now that I was a man, I felt like punching him, but I didn’t. Instead, I just made an appointment to come back and get the tattoo removed.

I should have been suspicious when I went back to the hospital and they put me under full anesthesia, because when I woke up I was a woman again but the tattoo was still there! They said it had been a mistake, and to make up for it they would do my next surgery for free.

I didn’t know what to do. I became depressed. I started getting hounded by my insurance company. They had covered my sex-change operations in full, but they said they didn’t cover tattoo removal. But I didn’t have a tattoo removal, I told them. They said they had already paid my doctor for one by mistake, and now I had to reimburse them. I called my doctor, and he said he hadn’t received any payment for tattoo removal.

I was so mad, I felt like suing someone. But who? My drinking buddies didn’t have any money, and I had no luck tracking down the tattoo parlor.

I gave up. I started hitting the bars and sleeping around. I don’t even remember if I was a man or a woman at that point. I felt a little cheap, so maybe I was a woman.

One night, after some meaningless sex, he or she turned to me and said, “You know, I really like your tattoo.” Something clicked in my head, and in my gut or maybe my uterus. I hadn’t realized it, but I also liked the tattoo. I was a tattoo person!

I called my doctor and told him the news: I wanted to get another sex-change operation, but I was going to keep the tattoo. He said I was an idiot. But I don’t care. If wanting to keep your tattoo makes you an idiot, then I’m the king of the idiots. Or the queen of the idiots—I have to look.


*************

I should just give up posting original stuff here and set up a Jack Handey tribute blog. I would feel no shame because he is that good. If you like surreal absurdist humour he is the man( or woman ) for you....check out Deepthoughtsbyjackhandey.com for more

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

song of the fukn week!

might be getting a little over excited cos they are Irish but damn if this isnt a great tune! Cant wait to hear more from Two Door Cinema Club...

Monday, April 13, 2009

SERIOUSLY??!

" ...In light of a recent assault on a TMZ photographer, Woody Harrelson has brilliantly defended his actions by claiming he was still in character and "mistook [the paparazzi] for a zombie."

In a statement issued by his publicist, Harrelson explained that he had just "wrapped a movie called 'Zombieland,' in which [he] was constantly under assault by zombies, then flew to New York, still very much in character."..." VIA THE PLAYLIST

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Contemporary sequel naming logic....

what with Fast And Furious blaizing a new trail for sequel naming Adam Buxton endeavours to take the franchise to its logical conclusion.....According to Mr Buxton the fifth installment will just be called....


"Fas Fur"


- animal based race film involving horses as Vin Diesels ex con decides to join horses , he breeds a weird siamese horse with eight legs..

The sixth installment the sequel to "Fas Fur" is just called .....


"Fa Fu"

, it stars Vin again as an ex - con again who now fancies Paul Walkers character and soon the pair join forces to investigate each other ,its a homo-erotic type thriller..

Also the franchise spawns a spin off called "The And The " as these definite articles have been left over from the previous film. This movie " The And The " would follow the stories of all the people waiting at the start and finish line of the race and what they get up to ..


"FF..."

Now the final installment of the whole franchise will be called "FF..." , Vin Diesels ex con is so bitter at undercover cop Paul Walker ( who he now no longer fancies ) that he lets the air out of his tyres, and this takes ninety minutes...

Adam Buxton i take my hat off to you... ********All of the above roughly transcribed from the Adam and Joe Podcast 4th Arpil 09**** Go! Download! Now! over here

So thats...

"The Fast and the Furious"
"2 Fast 2 Furious"
"The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift"
"Fast & Furious"
"Fas Fur"
"Fa Fu"
"FF"

Not forgetting the spin-off "The And The "